So it's December 31, 2010 and I haven't written a blog in two months. I feel bad about that but that has just motivated me to write this. It is very important to look back and think about what has happened over the course of the year.
The majority of this year has been stressful. Between looking for a job and trying to pay my loans on non-existent money I've been super stressed. My anxiety has gotten worse and led to many a panic attack and argument with people I love. I've been deeply disappointed and saddened by near misses of jobs I've really wanted. I've heard no after no after no. It's jaded me quite a bit, given me a tougher skin and an even more cynical attitude. However, it has also taught me how to take rejection, how to be thrifty, and how to appreciate the little I do have. Getting through the first 10.5 months of 2010 without killing myself (and I mean that seriously) wouldn't have been possible without my family. They've helped me out and supported me and I can't express how much they mean to be.
But 2010 wasn't all negative. I've had great things happen too. I have reconnected with and continued some meaningful friendship/relationships. I got to see Miyavi in concert, and we all know how much I love Miyavi. I've joined a gym and made excellent connections. I got to return to Canada with both of my sisters, started grad school and best of all...I GOT A JOB!
My employer of two months is Chicago Public Schools. They work me to death and don't pay me much but hey a little is more than nothing. The people there are hilarious and make the work day go much faster. The best thing that CPS provides me with is the ability to feel like an adult. I love being independent finally, able to pay my bills and buy things for myself and the people I love.
It would be easy to dismiss 2010 as the year that screwed me over but that's looking at the glass half empty. 2010 to me has been a year of growth. Going through the bad usually makes one stronger and more appreciative of the good that happens.
As for my expectations of 2011...I have none. I'm just going to take it as God gives it to me. I just pray that this time next year I am here to write another reflection blog, to tell you about the struggles and triumphs of my life. I'm looking forward to continued maturity. So see you 2010, you've been something I'll never forget.
-Lauren Green aged 23
